NFL Training camp starts, Chris Cooley a whiner?

Sorry it’s been a while. Quite busy on the home front this past week.

Regardless, I’m happy to hear it’s football season once again. Because my Mariners (and the Braves) are mired in….let’s be generous and say mediocrity….I can’t wait to start watching some pigskin.

One thing I love about this crazy Internet thingy and especially blogging is that we can hear things firsthand. From the horse’s mouth, so to speak. Which is why I love this post on Kissing Suzy Kolber by Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley (warning: language NSFW). He probably speaks for 98% of NFL players when he says that he hates training camp.

The one cool thing about the first month of camp is living in a dorm room. I love it when I get to leave my 2.8 million dollar house and live in a 400 square foot box, trade in the Mercedes for the bus, and curl up in my twin bed. The TV’s are great too, who isn’t happy when they pick up 10 total channels on a 24 inch box? Yea, I guess now people can say what a ungrateful bastard I am and how much anyone would give to play pro football, but please, whether it’s a high school or NFL training camp, it’s still gonna be as fun as a bag of (expletive removed).

Ha! That’s possibly the most honest thing I’ve heard from a pro athlete in a while. And most of my fellow bloggers get it — they (like myself) appreciate his honesty and understand his complaint.

But of course, I’ve also heard from the usual suspects. You know, the “Why are these guys complaining? Anyone would love to have their job. I’d do it for free!” crowd of idiots.

So in a futile attempt to sway some of these people’s opinions, let me offer up a scenario:

Your boss calls everyone in for a meeting. He says “Bad news people. We’ve got to fire 1/3 of you. So here’s how we’re going to do it. Beginning next week and lasting for about a month, we’re going to travel to a college campus. You’ll all get roommates. You’ll all have to work 8+ hours a day. No visitors. No wife, no kids, no girlfriend. Oh, and you’ll have a curfew and your day will be structured hourly.

And that’s not all. You’ll all get a complicated book chock full of technical information — about the size of two of those intro to Psychology books you used in college. You had better know everything that’s in them after the first week.

From time to time, we, the bosses, will meet to determine who’s doing well and who needs to get fired. Mind you, it won’t necessarily be based on who is the best, it’s also about who is making more money and if you can be replaced by someone cheaper.

At the end of the month, we’ll cut everyone down by 1/3. Maybe you’ll get a paycheck, maybe not. Then, you’ll be on your own to find some other work. Sure, there are some companies in other cities that may or may not pay you about what we did. If you can’t find a job with one of those companies, there are a couple others out there that may give you a few hundred bucks a week. And if you can’t get one of those? Well, I’m sorry. Most of you may be qualified to be a stockboy or a burger flipper.

Best of luck, and we may see you in a month.

Ok, back to reality. Doesn’t sound like a ton of fun, huh? If you want to imagine it even further, let’s harken back to those “great” dorm rooms of your college years. Remember those awesome twin XL beds? The ones where you’d fall out of if you moved six inches How much fun would it be to be sleeping in those things when you’re 6′4″ and 250+ pounds?

I don’t want to underestimate the factor that a lot of these guys are playing for their jobs. The average NFL player is done in their mid to late 20s. That’s a tiny window to get paid the six figures (or more) they’re likely never to earn again. An acquaintance of mine is one of those guys on the fringe of the NFL. He was an undrafted free agent as a rookie, got cut at the end of last season’s training camp, and didn’t get picked up by another team until the middle of the season. He’s in camp now, and may or may not get cut again. For every Peyton and Eli Manning there are hundreds of guys like this — spending every day living in fear this will be their last in the game.

And if you don’t have a significant other to lean on, I couldn’t imagine how stressful that would be.

So the next time you tell yourself, “These guys are so selfish…I’d play for free!” take a closer look at what they have to deal with. You may just change your mind.